#9: BAGS of EVIDENCE

FERGIE takes a night off from looking glamorous— and snatches some shuteye in the back of a cab. It had obviously been a long and tiring day for the Duchess of York.

She was caught napping at 3am in west London with no make-up and messy hair, a far cry from the well-groomed image she likes to show off as worldwide ambassador for WeightWatchers.
And Sarah, 48, looked almost as shocked as we were when she suddenly woke up with a start.

But there was BAGS of evidence of………………

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#8: Internet addiction

You might be an internet addict if:
1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

2. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

3. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

4. You start introducing yourself as “Jim at net dot com”

5. Your dog has its own home page.

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#7: The NAKED BLOGGER

Despite their tough language the bloggers’ uniforms remain pajamas and underwear. The tougher ones probably wear no clothes at all. Sitting before their computers the naked armies of the night are intent on taking over the world………….

A 19-year-old girl who posted nude pictures of herself on the internet has set Singapore’s blogging community abuzz, but lawyers say she is probably not breaking any obscenity law in the conservative city-state.

Writing under the moniker Sarong Party Girl, her weblog details her life and numerous sexual escapades.

“If someone were to flash himself physically, it’s very clearly an obscene act,” lawyer Jonathan Kok told The Straits Times. “But on the internet, it’s a grey area.”

The girl, waiting to enter a university, has gathered a daily following of about 3000 readers since she started her blog in February last year.

“There is nothing wrong with having a nude picture of yourself published or on show, as long as there is an artistic value to it,” she told the newspaper. “These pictures were nice.”

She admitted however that the blog has been kept secret from her parents.

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#6: WEAPONS of MASS DISTRACTION

NewsoftheWorld: SEXY soldier Katrina Hodge shows the weapons of mass distraction which make her a Miss England semi-finalist.
The serving Iraq heroine, dubbed Combat Barbie by troops, is competing with the backing of military chiefs.

Miss Tunbridge Wells Katrina, 21, was once laughed at for turning up for army basic training with pink luggage, pink coat and kitten heels.

But the sniggering had stopped by the time she won a commendation for bravery after wrestling TWO rifles from an Iraqi prisoner in Basra.

The lance corporal, who will be among 40 beauties battling it out for the title, said: “Girls in beauty pageants talk about wanting world peace but I’m out there trying to achieve peace for real.” Bet she gets plenty of atten-shun.

You bet, just ave a luuk……………

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#5: Laptop theft

If you’ve been in a white person’s apartment or home you might have noticed a funny thing that looks like a cross between an PC and a large CD player. It is what we call a laptop and it is an important stuff for modern day people.

We love our laptops for a number of reasons, the first of which is the fact that it will look sophisticated and smart if you use one. In fact, it is even more popular than a mobile phone which gives a white person that all important edge in the contest to see who can score best with the opposite sex. Though this is important, it is not the real reason why people love their laptop so much.
It’s greatest appeal lies in it’s access to the internet with it’s porn sites, online banking and speed dating.

Unlike the good old computers that had a memory of a sleeping snail, laptops are like a massage by Pamela Anderson doing a private lapdance for Playboy founder Hugh Hefner! In fact there is no other item on earth that can move you so seamlessly from you bedroom, classroom in Boston, Los Angelos or Houston to an exotic spices market in India without costing you any money or producing a terrible jetlag hangover.

Many people first acquire a love for this great invention during their school years by being jealous of someone else who has a more sophisticated piece of machinery and they want one themselves so they can play in the same upper league. In fact, many people will continue to type away on their keyboards in their local parks on a Saturday afternoon.

Until someone steals their piece of equipment that has by now become an attachment to their body, a bit like a third leg for boys or super titties for girls. If you want to belong and want to be important you join this exclusive club of laptop maniacs. Instead of going to a bar for a drink with your mates and to meet, a good looking girl, you type in whatever you like on your piece of machinery and find a girl online.

The same happens with banking and other things you can do from your lazy chair that requires putting important data into your laptop. But boy oh boy are we in deep trouble when the laptop gets stolen and someone else gets access to our bank account and credit card details. With the tap of a few keys all your precious money has been flushed down someone else’s drain and hoopla, gone are our savings. There are however FIVE easy ways to protect our beloved money from getting stolen by others, and here is what we should do to protect our hard won cash against thugs……..

Once we have done that, there is one other surefire way to make sure that no one will ever steal any money from us by stealing our precious little laptop friend. And that is by never ever using the laptop to do any online banking anymore, and that is the best way, yes that might set you back to the dark ages of banking but it sure as hell beats losing thousands of dollars to thugs. And if you want to know how easy it is to have your laptop stolen, just ask the CIA, or The Military how often they loose a laptop with some very important data on it.

So if you are smart, think again about online banking. And just say, it is better to walk to the bank to a full account than to sit at home watching an empty statement……….

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#4: HOT EXOTIC BABES

Now there are obviously two questions:
One: we like babes because they are sexy, good looking, smart, have amazing curves and so and….
Two: we don’t like them as I have just managed to get this picture wrong again….

Now what do you think is the right answer for U?????

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#3: HILARY CLINTON NAKED …

You see, this time it wasn’t only me in the wrong place, or I must say, there were too many of us getting in the way so no one saw anything. A shame really as we all seem to be obsessed with seeing celebrities NAKED……………..

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